Of Good Music and Bad Parties
I’ve been thinking a lot about the upcoming Republican National Convention in Charlotte getting started on August 24. It can’t be easy planning such an event in the best of circumstances and coordinating logistics for thousands of unmasked true believers this year will be even tougher. Scattering people of color at good camera angles in the middle of all that whiteness. Finding folks without shares of stock to thank goodness for tax reform. Trotting out seniors who worry about Mexicans more than losing their Social Security. Tough road to haul.
Finding the stars and influencers to show up will be harder than filling Celebrity Row for Knicks games at Madison Square Garden the past few years. (Turtle from Entourage was there every night I was and I’m not sure he’s done anything since Turtle from Entourage.) Kanye certainly won’t be available; he’s off on his own campaign trail that starts and ends in his own mind. Do count on the usual suspects though. Gary Busey, James Woods, Dennis Rodman, Jon Voight, Chuck Woolery, Scott Baio, Dean Cain, Stacey Dash, Ted Nugent. Either find the money to get them to Carolina or beam them in on the giant screen.
But what about the music? It seems unfair that all the good songs are controlled by all the pinko lefty songwriters and artists that are always sending out those annoying lawyer letters after the fact. A quick check on Wikipedia reveals that the list of musicians opposing the use of their music by Trump and the Republicans sounds like the roster of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musicians_who_oppose_Donald_Trump%27s_use_of_their_music#:~:text=In%202015%2C%20vocalist%20Michael%20Stipe,video%20containing%20the%20unauthorized%20use
As Trump was campaigning for president, Aerosmith was decrying his use of Dream On, Bruce was shutting down Born in the U.S.A. and R.E.M. was ending It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine). Adele, Elton John, Neil Young, Nickelback, Pharrell Williams, Prince’s estate, Queen, Rihanna, the Rolling Stones, Tom Petty, and even Luciano Pavarotti have all gotten into the act of negation. Yet my favorite has to be Beatle George Harrison’s estate which condemned the 2016 convention organizers for introducing daughter Ivanka Trump to Here Comes the Sun but subsequently conveyed possible permission for Harrison’s Beware of Darkness. https://music.amazon.com/search/beware+of+darkness
As someone once said, sad, very sad.
Yet songs are available and they should be played, intellectual property rights and artistic feelings be damned. Any party that can stop the post office can certainly fill out a dance card. So here they are, my carefully curated recommendations for great evenings of musical introductions to the stars of the Republican Party. Please do feel free to add to the list or come up with your own suggestions. But hurry, the convention’s only a week away, and you can’t have a good party without good music.
Stephen Miller, Senior Advisor REFUGEE (Tom Petty) https://music.amazon.com/search/tom+petty+refugee
Elizabeth Prince DeVos, Secretary of Education SCHOOL’S OUT (Alice Cooper) https://music.amazon.com/search/schools+out+alice+cooper
Mitch McConnell, United States Senator YOU’RE NO GOOD (Linda Ronstadt) https://music.amazon.com/search/you%27re+no+good+linda+ronstadt
Steven T. Mnuchin, Secretary of the Treasury PIGGIES (Beatles) https://music.amazon.com/search/piggies
William Barr, Attorney General LAWYERS, GUNS AND MONEY (Warren Zevon) https://music.amazon.com/search/lawyers+guns+and+money+warren+zevon
Michael R. Pence, Vice-President MOTHER (John Lennon & Plastic Ono Band) https://music.amazon.com/search/mother+john+lennon and bonus track MOTHER (Pink Floyd) https://music.amazon.com/search/mother+pink+floyd
Donald J. Trump, President EVERYTHING IS BROKEN (Bob Dylan) https://music.amazon.com/albums/B00138J9X2/B00137XAUG?tab=CATALOG&ref=dm_wcp_albm_link_search_c